17 Reasons Why London Is Just The Absolute Worst

Maybe we should all just up and leave because, frankly, it’s a downright terrible place. Yep, really really bad. Terrible city, nothing to do here.

1. There are no green spaces

richmond-park-london

richmond-park-london

Well, apart from a few, scattered spots.

2. It’s all just made of concrete

walthamstow-wetlands

walthamstow-wetlands

They don’t call it The Big Smoke for nothing.

3. And there is absolutely no nature anywhere

richmond-park-london

richmond-park-london

Seriously, when was the last time you heard the birds sing?

4. Just buildings

london-buildings

london-buildings

Yep, hundreds upon hundreds of historic spots. Yawn.

5. And not even nice buildings

st-pauls

st-pauls

Can you believe they bothered to rebuild St Paul’s four times? What a waste.

6. Really, really ugly buildings

london-westminster

london-westminster

Ok, I guess this lot aren’t bad…

7. Just look at them

natural-history-museum

natural-history-museum

Eyesores, the lot of them.

8. They’re revolting

leadenhall-market

leadenhall-market

And just wait until you see the sewers

9. Oh and Londoners never have any fun

The odd rooftop bar aside, this place is a ghost town.

10. Like, there’s absolutely nothing to do here

London Covid cases

London Covid cases

We honestly had to struggle just to think of a few.

11. And the food is absolutely terrible

best-camden-market-street-food-london

best-camden-market-street-food-london

Gordon Ramsay? Heston Blumenthal? Who?

12. It’s always the same old sh*t

burger-london

burger-london

Breakfast in bread? Liquid nitrogen ice cream? Get some new material, London.

13. It’s impossible to get around

london-underground

london-underground

We’ve only got the world’s most historic underground railway, after all.

14. And it’s always so hideous and rainy

london-eye

london-eye

Pretty joyless, too.

15. The city has zero character

london-culture

london-culture

And everything you could do is way too expensive!

16. And the people are always so miserable

london-happy

london-happy

Sometimes, though, the city can make you smile.

17. Seriously, why would anyone want to come here?

london-view

london-view

Be warned though: once London has you, you’re not likely to leave

Oh god we can’t even say it with a straight face. Don’t hate us – we didn’t mean it, London. Honest!


Also published on Medium.

Secret London