Londoners. They are â if youâre reading this in London, at least â all around you, usually commuting, or drinking, or walking too fast, or reading Secret London (đ¤). Maybe theyâre even complaining about London, because hey, itâs a valid hobby. But still, there are a handful of sure-fire ways to spot a Londoner, and in a recent shoutout on our socials, we asked you to tell us the methods of identifying a Londoner:
The responses were, as always, brilliant. Youâve really come through with the goods here, so kick back, relax, and check out this failsafe list of ways to spot a Londoner in ten seconds or fewerâŚ
How to spot a Londoner
Maybe itâs in the way we walk?
1. âYou canât, they walk too fast đ¨â
Yes, unsurprisingly a lot of responses alluded to the pace of life here in the capital. Hey, weâve got places to be!
2. âRolling eyes at anyone walking less than 20mph down the streetâ
3. âThe brisk wind while they run past youâ

4. âWalks fast & elbows anyone who stands in their wayâ
5. âGets huffy with slow walkers and steps onto the road to overtake, whilst muttering âffsâ under their breath, then immediately feels bad about it. This is definitely not me đśâ
Or perhaps itâs in the way we talk?
6. ââMateâ at the end of every sentenceâ
7. âThey know how to correctly pronounce Southwark. Not South Walk!â
8. ââ Did you not see the queue? ââ
Finally, a few variations on our favourite word:
9. ââSorryââ
10. ââ Sorry love âđâ
11. âSays âsorryâ when bumping into an objectâ
Could it be the way we dress?
12. âThey are effortlessly fashionable.â

13. ââVejaâ shoes foreverâ
14. âFlip flops + socksâ
15. âNo umbrella while rainingâ
Itâs only going to slow us down!
Some people zeroed in on our impeccable Tube etiquetteâŚ
16. âRunning for the tube like itâs the last tube ever to exist even though thereâs one in one minuteâ
17. âOyster cards kept safer than credit cards đâ
18. âNot someone who has their ticket out 8 stops in advanceâ
19. âZero eye contact.â
20. âSprinting towards a closing tube door as if itâs an action film and being behind a snail who has all the time in the world.â

Mind you, itâs not always impeccable.
22. âLateral flow test on tubeâ
Currently watching a lady do a lateral flow test while ON the central line. Itâs going to make Bond Street to Notting Hill particularly tense.
â Steve Bugeja (@SteveBugeja) December 9, 2021
Truly, to know the Tube is to know London, and to know oneself:

24. âThey stand at the exact spot on the platform where the tube doors openâ
25. âCan fall asleep on the tube for 30min and still manage to wake up just before their stopâ
Some put forth the theory that caffeine would reveal a true LondonerâŚ
26. âOverpriced cup of coffee in their handsâ
27. âTheyâll be carrying a Costa cupâ
Other coffee chains are available â and speaking ofâŚ
28. âAir pods in and a Pret coffeeâ
29. âThey donât think ÂŁ4 for a coffee is expensive.â
Of course, to observe a Londoner in their natural environment, thereâs only one place to go.


31. âIs heading to a pub after workâ

32. âDrop a pint on the floor and wait for the WHEEEEEAAAA and the sarcastic clapping.â
Itâs even more pronounced when you get us out of our natural habitatâŚ
33. âWhen they buy a round of drinks outside London they pay without blinking to try and act as nonchalant as possible whilst secretly believing the bar staff have massively undercharged them.â
We know the value of time here in London, and a lot of you picked up on that.
34. âTheyâll eat their lunch while walkingâ
35. âWe dive into the middle of the road rather than waiting for the man to go greenâ
36. âWe are fast & when we do stand still itâs to the right đâ
37. âThe person running up the escalatorâ
Of course, a Londoner also knows when and where to slow down.
38. âTheyâre always queuing, no matter where or for whatâ

39. âThey manage to create a queue even of two people đâ
And crucially, where not to stopâŚ
40. âDonât stop suddenly in middle of busy pavement trafficâ
41. âThe people you cannot find on the London Eyeâ
We also know that there are some unspoken rules to follow to be a real Londoner.
42. âEye contact is strictly forbiddenâ
43. âTheyâre ignoring your existenceâ
44. âThey have concept of personal space and know thereâs a common sense invisible line when people are walking up and down stairsâ
Next, the golden ruleâŚ
45. âNever change at Bankâ
46. âThey stand on the right of an escalator no matter where they are đ â
London is often grey and rainy, so any true Londoner knows to make the most of any sunny weather.
47. âSunbathing in a park at 2pm on a Tuesday in Marchâ
48. âPops up laying on the grass when there is one sun rayâ
Many tried to capture the essence of a Londoner in their answers.
49. âThey speak 3 languages fluently, walk everywhere, always heading to a wine bar or going for a coffee instead of teaâŚâ
Someone is going to be very disappointed when they hear me try to speak SpanishâŚ
50. â22.5k steps daily on their phones or watches, always wearing a rucksack, corporate wear with trainers, headphones in, Oyster card located in a convenient place on selfâ
51. âPower walk! âSorry! Excuse me âŚ. Uh ⌠can I just! Thank you!â đâ
52. âEither doesnât have a driving license or drives like an evil geniusâ
53. âTheyâll pay ÂŁ1/2million for a 1 bed apartment and think they have a bargain.â
Someone went brutally accurate here⌠đ
54. âDepressedâ
55. âSleep deprived and stressed keeping themselves to themselvesâ
Meanwhile, some people have clearly only seen Londoners in Julie Andrews filmsâŚ
56. âHeâs the one who spontaneously breaks into a dance routine with a chimney sweeping brush over his shoulderâ

57. âThe person singing âconsider yourselfâ while pick pocketing well off toffsâ
58. âCovered in buttons and say âcor blimey guvânerâ to everythingâ
Iâve reserved a special section for the people who wisely chose to shower Londoners with compliments.
59. âThey are normally the smartest dressed and most politeâ
This next person understood đ the đ assignment đ
60. âWeâre all stunning, witty, and have a natural ability to be polite while ignoring people, and walk really fast through a crowd while sipping a super strong cuppa!â
61. âđđ I love the Londoners, they were always helpful !!!đâ¤ď¸â
62. âReal born ân bred Londoners, like anyone from anywhere are good people and will help you if you need it.â
And finally, a word of wisdom to end onâŚ
63. âYou donât spot Londoners.. Londoners spot non-Londoners
â
So, now you know!
Also published on Medium.